Three weeks ago, I sent out a survey about these termsand over 3. Despite a stated equal interest in giving and receiving most sexual acts, there were a few acts for which the percentage of switches who were down for giving exceeded the number who were up for receiving.
Fingering vaginal penetration I noticed that in many areas, the percentage of switches interested in a certain sexual act or dating behavior was usually just slightly below the interest of tops for top-associated things, or of bottoms for bottom-associated things.
Others indicated that an interest in both positions did not preclude a preference towards one.
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One trans lesbian who also identifies as a submissive described being a switch as: Sometimes, the switch identity is still in theoretical stages due to a perceived lack of experience with both, like the lesbian who wrote: Gender and gender presentation factored in as well which has also been my own personal experience. One non-binary queer noted: Or it can mean that with some partners you top and others you bottom, or on a given day you might do one or the other. I think true switches are also very powerful, because we know what it feels like have complete control and to completely give up control.
As with other activities on this survey, switches tended to fall a little closer to tops on the toppy activities and a little closer to bottoms on the bottomy activities.
Of the 1, switches on our survey, identify as kinky. Kinky switches reported a wide range of experiences for how switching played out in their sexual lives. But I also really enjoy giving up control.
Bottoming is one of the only times in my life I ever really stop worrying about everything and only worry about pleasing my partner. With the right top, it quiets my anxieties and makes me feel so warm and cared about.
She leans more subby than I do, so I end up domming more often. Other times the switching is act-specific. It feels like turning off my brain, and grounding myself, via my body.
Different folks bring out really different strains of feeling for me. Or, kinky switching is an active role throughout the encounter. Most who provided additional commentary on their none-of-aboveness could be split into five camps of thought:.
Sex should be approached as fluid, active, engaged, and new and different every time. NOTAs were way more likely to not identify as kinky or like kinky sex than other survey takers — That leaves us with 51 kinky NOTAs to overanalyze.
Verses are NOT half tops and half bottoms they are their own majestic creatures. Vers 4 Vers till the day that I die.
Another asked for this: If a label holds meaning for you, then by all means, embrace it. I love the memes and jokes we make around these terms e. C U Next Tuesday to talk about sub identities!
A lot of the language in these posts is intended to make them easy to find on search engines. Take what you want and what applies to you or what you can make apply to you and your partners and your experiences, and leave the rest!
She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Wordand then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! Follow her on twitter and instagram.
You need to login in order to like this post: They were talking about kink but I could see some resonances in my own non-kink interests too. I love this comment! Yes, so very yes…I think the way in which we can all bring out different elements of each other is one of the most fascinating aspects of human connection.
Especially without any knowledge of the dynamics, negotiations, and types of care between two people. Let people want what they want and use the labels that make them feel good!
They are queer as hell! I have such a hard time with defining a bottom as someone who is penetrated because for me it brings up so much patriarchal crap about how woman are all passive, receptacle objects who exist to pleasure men and have their babies.
Riese has written articles for us. You May Also Like For My Own Pleasure: Hiring a Sex Worker as a Queer Woman.
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