The silence between them beat louder than any sound. When there was so much to say, its persistence galled Maura. Words tumbled inside her head like wet clothes in a dryer.
After all this time and everything they've done and said, she still didn't know how to fix it. What was the right thing to say? Why wasn't it coming to her? All the professional accolades and academic degrees seemed profane if they couldn't help Maura figure out what was happening with Jane.
She retreated to the sofa, preoccupied with her thoughts, barely aware the other woman followed. Automatically she nodded and was relieved to be alone. Something within was gaining momentum.
It was a sensory interpretation, similar to creaking joints stiffening before the onset of rain, and one that she instinctively believed in. Maura leaned back into the sofa cushions and kicked off the heels that had been deforming Teasers on the sofa feet the entire day.
Jane twisted off the beer cap and swallowed until foam filled the bottleneck. At Maura's raised eyebrows, Jane asked, "I was…thirsty.
Maura closed her eyes and turned her head to the side. Before answering, she took a deep breath then resolutely looked into Jane's tempestuous eyes.
Every day I had to fight my feelings. You'd move your hair over one shoulder, or wear all black, or smile because of something you saw, or laughed…whatever you do—whatever you say-however you look, it touches something inside of me and it keeps growing. You're always with me, Jane.
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Jane's response was dependable, if not wholly insightful. Nonetheless, the pain it caused was serrated, easily allowing Maura to trace the jagged line between the present and future.
Uttering the admission initially felt like compensation for all those lean years of keeping it unsaid.
Maura was ephemerally elated and relieved that that particular struggle had met its end. The silence continued and her fears ripened. What else could Maura add when countered by Jane's expression which was more suited to a high stakes poker game Teasers on the sofa unadorned honesty?
Her thoughts, harshly, commanded her to leave, to get up and leave. Save yourself before the fallout. Before it irrevocably coated her.
They eyed one another cautiously. The contents of Maura's belly roiled, a hot queasiness that began to rise. Maura jumped up, too confused to add to the motion. She had been so sure of Jane's response, so ready to immolate her heart, Maura almost missed the 'yet' at the end of it. A small detail but one that grew roots in her mind. Months ago, weeks ago, Jane would have left, closing the door behind her.
But Jane stood, her hand curving around Maura's hip.
By degrees, with nothing more than Jane's proximity and scent, Maura sank into the embrace. Just below the surface lustier needs hummed. There was nothing more she wanted to do than touch those lips with her own and forget everything else and create an amnesia they could both believe in. Instead, Maura backed away, breathing shallowly Teasers on the sofa if conserving for more disappointment.
I know I am important to you. I know you love me.
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I know you don't want to hurt me. And Teasers on the sofa known each other for a long time. Jane watched intently, frowning. She looked poised to contradict. The longer Maura stared into her eyes, the more difficult it became to break the reticence. Her voice grew husky. Jane's hands, conversely, were timid as they cupped Maura's Teasers on the sofa.
For a second, Maura weakened, rubbing her cheek into Jane's palm. I will always see you as more. It nearly broke her, the entreaty. Concentrating on the supple movements of tendon and muscle in Jane's neck, Maura herded the stragglers of her broken strength. Not to ask the question, but to listen to the answer.
Once the decision had been made, Maura spurned the cowardice impulse to glance away. She saw the befuddled expression, the tightening of skin around the eyes, then the glimmer of comprehension. Is that what you mean? Maura held her breath, watching Jane go and didn't release it until she was out of sight. Instantly her shoulders were purged of some tension, her back less rigid. There was little about Jane that didn't fascinate Maura. Each new piece of information was like a color from a child's paint-by-numbers kit.
When they'd first met, Jane was an canvas Teasers on the sofa an outline. After several years, there was more outline than color but that didn't matter to Maura. The painstakingly slow revealment engaged Maura's curiosity and imagination, filling her with a need to know. Unique or ordinary, exciting or dull, trivial or huge, nothing was beneath Maura's investment.
Jane shrugged as she sat down then placed the platter on the coffee table. Maura joined her on the sofa and gratefully took a beer. Jane, on the other hand, stopped shoveling food into her gaping maw. Eyes plunging to the floor, she fidgeted, still holding a shred of pita bread. Maura struggled not to take on something that wasn't hers. Yesterday, she Teasers on the sofa have cosseted and forgiven, brushing away her own feelings as if they were lint.
The trembling lower lip was too much for Maura to withstand so she didn't even try and softly kissed Jane's damp Teasers on the sofa. Jane hastily reached for Maura, hooking her around the neck and waist. Face buried in Maura's neck, she murmured indecipherably but the timbre carried her remorse to Maura's willing ears. When the wide shoulders began to bow, Maura scooted closer, gently running her hand down Jane's spine.
Wincing, Maura attempted to sit up but something Teasers on the sofa was pining down.
Her eyelids Teasers on the sofa open and realization flooded in. Jane was drooling on Maura's shoulder, still comatose. Maura began the delicate process of extracting herself from Jane's rangy embrace.
Once safely free, she stretched then ran tired fingers through her hair. She gathered the remains of their makeshift snack and went into the kitchen. The clock showed it was only a little after nine o'clock but it seemed later. She drank directly from the tap, cupping Teasers on the sofa palm under the running faucet.
All Maura wanted was to sleep. Fatigued by the emotional roller-coaster the day had been, the quilted mattress beckoned but the shower was presenting a persuasive case. She returned to the living room. Jane had moved onto her stomach, one arm over the cushion's edge. The picture was endearing. Without much energy, she debated whether to wake Jane or leave her be. It wouldn't be the first time she had crashed on the couch.
Probably not the last either. Maura smiled then turned off the lights and made her way up the darkened stairway. The shower proved to be a better debater than the bed with its multitude of settings, its promise of relaxation.
Maura didn't linger, however, and quickly got ready for bed. The second her back hit the mattress, she began to unwind, the strain leeching out of her muscles leisurely, in no great hurry.
Hovering between sleep and wakefulness, she could detect the muted sounds leaking from the closed bathroom. There was a reassurance in Jane's presence, in the way her body moved among Maura's things. Innately agile and economical, her motions never encroached upon Maura's sense Teasers on the sofa order. I've been waiting forever for you to wake up!
I went to the store and bought some stuff to make pancakes. Brain teasers and puzzles are great for those who want to keep their minds activeand it's a far better alternative to sitting on the sofa every.
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