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Babies are like this blank canvas of impressionable behavior.

Welcome to The New Dad...

Anywho, so Daddy lets out a ground-shaking belch that seems like it should echo through eternity. She smiles with sly side-grin like watch this and then unleashes a fury from her belly that shadows my very belch.

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Daddy-Daughter bonding at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. Babies are impressionable, for good and for the bad and really for just about everything in between.

Babies are like puppies. Friends, I have a serious confession to make here: I tend to have a really filthy potty mouth.

For a while there, Angela and I thought our daughter was on the fast track to having her first word be something that rhymes with YUCK. Just ask a comedian like Amy Schumer or Louis C. Right about now is where the wicked smart peeps come in and tell me that I should expand my vocabulary to include more civilized and socially-acceptable words to show true intelligence over rampant ignorance of thought in terms of my personalized diction.

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Fuuuuuuuck that … and fuuuuuuck you. However, like Whitney Houston so accurately proclaims with pride, the children are in fact the future. So, when in front of the young ones: Not gonna lie, I learned this lesson the hard way.

And in the midst of the knowledge bombs a big F-bomb came flying out of the orifice between my cheeks. Curse responsibly, ladies and gentlemen. By the way, I maintain that there is no other way to describe defecation but to call it shit when the baby is finally graduated the solid foods.


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