I met Chris in a little cocktail bar one rainy night in London not long after I had moved to the city sidenote: We had a fantastic date, one of my best ever, and it culminated with both a passionate kiss and Blowing off a friend never felt so wonderful invitation to a second date. He texted me on the way home. He was the inspiration for the second part of this post. Over the next couple of days, we texted back and forth and made plans for our upcoming dinner date.
And then, the day before, I texted him to confirm what time we were meeting. That seemed a bit strange, but I tried not to let it bother me until the next day. Blowing off a friend never felt so wonderful lunchtime — I would assume we were meeting only a few hours later — I texted again. Yes, oh yes, the dreaded double-text. But I was kind of worried, and very confused. It essentially means to just disappear on someone, leaving them hanging.
I seem to recall a Sex and the City episode where Miranda gets stood up for a date, and her friends pipe in that he might have died.
And — any SATC fans out there? Ghosting is sort of a funny term to me, because ghosts haunt you, popping up when you least expect them. They disappear for good. And it happens a hell of a lot more frequently than I first realised.
I met Mark in a crowded bar over thumping dance music and too many pints. He tried to kiss me on the dance floor, I got weirded out, and he convinced me to give him my number so he could take me out and make it up to me. To my surprise, he actually texted the next day. It turns out Mark and I were a great match, creepy drunken behaviour excepted. We met up once or twice a week for a couple of months, and it was a really fun start to a relationship.
We were supposed to meet up on a Sunday night at 8pm in my local pub. I had even run into him the day before — we live in the same neighbourhood — and he had introduced me to his friends and said he was excited to see me.
I never heard from him again. I wish that I could say that I played it cool and just let it go, but he really pissed me off. Two months of dating?
I have no idea what photo to post in an article about ghosting, so here are some horses in Bhutan. They may not be an inherently bad person, but ghosting is definitely bad behaviour. Is there ever an OK time to ghost someone?
For example, I recently went out with a very sweet, very kind man. We went on two dates; the first one was fun, but by the time we met for the second date, something with the chemistry just seemed off i.
I hope you understand.
Listen — that is not a fun text to write nor a fun text to receive. He wrote back almost immediately saying he did understand, and it was nice to meet me, and he wished me all the best. Neither of us had to harbour any ill will or frantically check our phone a hundred times a day. And then, a couple of weeks later… oh yes. One day there, the next… just gone.
I never thought that this person was going to be a serious boyfriend, but I did care about him. And if so, what do you say? Do you ask why they decided to stop seeing you?
Take it from me, though: Try to keep it classy, collected, and brief. And then just laugh about it… after a few Aperol Spritzesmaybe. But for all the times it has happened to me, and for all the times it has happened to my friends, know this: Ghosting is a huge indicator of both immaturity and instability.
And honestly, at this point in my life, anyone who has this lack of emotional depth and a lack of basic courtesy is just holding up the line. So ladies and the four gentlemen who read this blogtake heart: As soon as you realise this, you have room in your life for so many other fun things: Have you ever been ghosted? Or… have you ghosted someone before? Why did you do it? Brenna Holeman has travelled to nearly countries in the past 12 years, many of them solo.
She's a big fan of whisky and window seats. Oh and Blowing off a friend never felt so wonderful the cheese at the end… totally appropriate, if not necessary! I had actually been meaning to write this post for a while as so many of my single friends have experienced the same thing… the international man just happened to have perfect timing hah. Thanks for this article. First date was about as perfect as you could imagine.
Passionate kisses listening to and singing along with Barry Manilow in her Mercedes yes, I hope she reads this. Felt like I was 17 again. A few days of exchanged texts and calls, then within a week of the date… nothing. I thought just guys did this. The last message was him asking me what I had planned for the weekend. I sent an are you ok message the next day.
Well, fool me once as they say. Maybe we both dodged a bullet as they say. Not a peep from him.
Charming blowing off a friend never felt so wonderful sex photo
I too am glad that he has shown how immature and damn right selfish he is. Has ended things randomly over the last few years, but we managed a full year without a hitch.
I have no intention of ever rekindling things with him. Funny enough im not even sad, i feel great! It does hurt… like hell!